My second daughter was born prematurely and again was whisked off to the NICU. She had all manner of problems breastfeeding. Once she was able to leave her incubator, she couldn’t latch; she screamed if I tried to latch her on and my anxiety used to build with every attempted feed. No one talked about skin to skin back then and cuddles weren’t encouraged. I expressed around the clock and no one told me the small amounts I was expressing were enough. I felt inadequate.. I didn’t stop trying – that’s what it felt like at the time. What happened was that I didn’t get the right support and information.

Roll forward another five years and I had my third daughter. My first baby that wasn’t whisked away. She seemed to know what to do and breastfeeding seemed to get off to a good start. Then began the painful, damaged nipples and the fall down the weight charts. I dreaded weigh in day as no one could tell me how to change it. I watched my baby become very thin. Every time I asked, if it normal for her to feed all day every day. I was told yes – but I truly meant feeding all day, 24/7. I still remember the pain of latching on and somehow managing to get through it.